Are you really free when you need to do everything right?

Maybe you're the kind of person who simply wants to do things the right way.

Conscientiously.

Responsibly.

And perhaps you're even proud of that.

But have you ever asked yourself one question?

Why do you actually need to do things the right way?

Is it really your free choice?

What would happen if, this time, you didn't do it the right way?

Maybe criticism would come.

Maybe someone's disapproval.

Maybe disappointing others.

Maybe shame.

Maybe fear that you would hurt or lose someone.

And this is where, in my view, it becomes interesting to pause.

BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE OPTION TO DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY, YOU AREN'T COMPLETELY FREE.

Maybe the need to do everything right is protecting you from something.

If you do everything right, surely no one can blame you for anything.

And even if they do, you can tell yourself:

"But I did it the right way."

It's a kind of shield.

The problem is that every person has a different idea of what "right" means.

One person says:

"You should have been stricter."

Another says:

"You should have been kinder."

One says:

"You should have left."

Another:

"You should have stayed."

And you try to find the one right answer.

But often, it doesn't exist.

And so you live under constant pressure to monitor yourself.

Whether you speak the right way.

Whether you react the right way.

Whether you feel the right way.

Whether you are right.

MY EXPERIENCE IS THAT REAL FREEDOM IS NOT ABOUT ALWAYS KNOWING AND DOING WHAT IS RIGHT.

IT IS ABOUT HAVING THE CAPACITY TO BE WITH WHAT EACH SITUATION BRINGS UP IN US.

Even when criticism comes.

Disapproval.

Disappointment.

Rejection.

Or any other uncomfortable feeling.

Because when we are able to stay with what we feel in that moment, we no longer have to make decisions only to avoid those feelings.

And that, in my view, is where real freedom begins.

THE FREEDOM TO ACT IN A WAY THAT FEELS TRUE TO ME AND TO WHAT I GENUINELY NEED IN THAT MOMENT.

This is exactly what we work with in BeTrue.

We don't look for the right answers.

We don't teach people how they should behave.

We are interested in something else.

What happens inside you in the moment you are about to do something differently from what you believe is the right thing to do?

My experience is that this is often where we discover a fear that has quietly been guiding us our whole lives.

A fear that makes us feel as though we do not really have a choice. As though there is only one option — to do it the right way.

And when we learn to meet this fear safely, our decisions stop coming from the need to avoid uncomfortable feelings.

And we begin to act according to WHAT WE TRULY FEEL AND NEED.

So perhaps the biggest question is not:

"Am I doing this right?"

Perhaps it is more important to ask:

"Can I stay with what this brings up in me if I choose not to act in the way I believe is right?"