Are you trying to feel the “right” way, too?

Are you trying to feel the "right" way, too?
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"Here I am again, not trusting what I feel. I'm betraying myself. I trust what someone else feels instead."
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Maybe this thought catches you off guard. After all, you already know you're allowed to have your own feelings. You understand that, for a long time, you tried to feel the way your mum or other people in your life wanted you to feel. And you've decided that from now on, you'll listen to yourself. Your own inner guidance.
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So you start reminding yourself:
"I can trust myself. I don't have to follow what other people want."
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But right now, you don't trust yourself.
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What if even this good intention can become another demand you place on yourself? Another idea of how you should be by now?
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"Now I'll do it right. Now I'll trust my feelings."
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The situation looks different, but the pattern may still be the same. You're experiencing something — and trying to change it into something you consider more acceptable.
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Maybe, as a child, you heard: "Don't cry." "Don't get angry." "Smile."
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And perhaps you learned to hide or suppress your feelings so you could be who others wanted you to be. Even when you felt completely different inside.
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Today, no one has to tell you what to feel. That demand may come from within.
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"I shouldn't doubt myself."
"I should trust myself more."
"I should have worked through this by now."
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So you try to trust your feelings, even though what you're experiencing right now is a lack of trust. Suddenly, there's no room for that either.
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What if you're okay even when you don't trust yourself?
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What if it's about having the freedom to experience whatever you're experiencing? Without having to force yourself to trust when what you find inside is doubt.
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"Right now, I don't trust what I feel. And that's where I am right now."
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What would it be like not to have to convince yourself otherwise straight away? Not to take even this moment as proof that you need to do something about yourself?
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Perhaps, when you allow yourself to experience what's really happening inside, you begin to see possibilities you couldn't see before. When all your attention was focused on finally feeling the "right" way, perhaps there was no room for them.
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And if you notice that you're putting pressure on yourself again, that doesn't have to become another reason to criticise yourself. That, too, is something you're experiencing right now.
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If you'd like to explore this together, you're welcome to message me. In a BeTrue session, we can make space for whatever you're experiencing — including doubt and a lack of trust.
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Do you recognise those moments when you try to feel the "right" way, instead of allowing yourself to feel what you actually feel?