What I used to do when I felt bad — and what I do now

I wake up in the morning feeling irritated. As I make breakfast, my mind reminds me of everything that needs to be done today, and every thought brings up anger and dissatisfaction.

I feel as if everything is wrong.

In the past, in a situation like this, I would start looking for where I had failed. Why was I in such a mood? I felt that I couldn't be like this. I should be in a good mood. Only then would other people accept me. Only then would I not be a burden to them. I would force myself to be positive. I would try to make sure nobody could see how I was really feeling.

I felt I had to get rid of it. If I didn't keep it under control, it would only get worse.

I would also mainly try to do something — so I could feel that, through that activity, I was getting things under control. I would try to come up with a solution.

And so I would push away how I really felt, somewhere deep inside. So that I could offer others a smile. So that when someone asked, "How are you?" I could answer, "Great." So that I, too, could stop being afraid and feel that everything was under control. So that I could feel safe.

Today, I do it differently.

I give myself attention. I notice my body, my feelings and my emotions, so that I can become aware of what is happening inside me. I don't try to suppress what I feel. Quite the opposite. I stay with it, with my attention.

And every time I discover that when I approach myself with this kind of gentleness, the emotion is unpleasant at first — and then it somehow disappears. Suddenly, completely different possibilities open up. A completely different perspective on the situation.

Then relief can come. A feeling of lightness. A sense that things make sense. A feeling that everything is okay.

If you're interested in learning how you, too, can work with your emotions, get in touch. I'd be happy to guide you through this process using the BeTrue technique. Perhaps you may discover that it is completely okay to feel exactly as you feel — without having to fight against it.